The Answer!

I’ve been a little bogged down lately because our world is filled with so many problems. We’ve got global warming, over population, economic problems, teen pregnancy…well the list is too long to type. I keep wishing that I could go back to that time of innocence when the world seemed to just pass me by like a friendly acquaintance. It would say, “Hey, how’s it goin’?”, but it wouldn’t hassle me with the troubles that were abounding in its’ own existence. Those were the days! I could be totally satisfied with life so long as I could watch the Cubs day game on WGN with an ICEE and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The world was much simpler. Michael Jackson wasn’t a pedophile, baseball didn’t need congressional hearings, Pee Wee’s Playhouse wasn’t an adult theatre, and the Mickey Mouse Club wasn’t quite as gay. What the hell happened?!!!

I guess maybe this is just all part of growing up. Maybe adulthood is supposed to suck. But what if the answer to all of the world’s problems is back in that time of innocence? What if we were supposed to take a little bit of that childish atmosphere and combine it with what’s going on today to make this world a better place? The world might turn out quite different…quite different indeed.

I think the answer to all of our problems will be solved once we can figure out how to reanimate the dead. I know what you’re all thinking, “Wow! I was following this guy for a second but now he’s totally lost me.” Just hang with me for a minute and you’ll see where this is going. You see, if we could bring the dead back to life we could take the reanimated zombie corpse of Walt Disney and make him supreme ruler of all the land. Now, before this goes too far, I should say that I didn’t know him personally so some of his beliefs might make this a bad thing. That being said I think he could probably do a lot for society. Just think what the world would be like if he ran it like one of his magical theme parks…

• Obesity would no longer be an issue in our country. The average man can’t afford to eat at any of his current parks as it is. It’s the ultimate crash diet.
  
• Global warming wouldn’t be an issue because he could equip all the areas of the park with those industrial size fans that blow a cool mist over everything.
  
• Suicide rates would have to go down because depression and boredom would be a thing of the past.
  
• There would be a lot more jobs and the workplace would be a lot more exciting with all the pirates, dwarfs and wild animals.
  
• Unwanted pregnancies would cease to exist. (Seriously, would you have unprotected sex after seeing all those little monsters nagging and throwing tantrums because their parents wouldn’t buy them personalized mouse ears?)
  
• Over population wouldn’t loom over us anymore. All the poor people would die off because they wouldn’t be able to afford the price of admission.
  

The great Dr. King once said, “I have a dream.” Well I do too. Mine consists of every man having a water park in their backyard...everyone’s dog can talk and help with the housework...mice are no longer considered a pest, but instead a valuable part of the family...and the only arguments and debates our government officials will have is where to put the new rollercoaster.

I know, we’re a long ways off and Walt hasn’t agreed to do it yet…It’s just a thought.